It took me a long time to come to terms with what I’ve secretly always feared- and what I’m still afraid of, I suppose. I’ve always dreamed of doing a few different things, since childhood, but I thought I was just a foolish dreamer. But when I graduated high school, and stories of people following THEIR dreams bombarded me and that insane desire to do what I LOVE doing is still there- I knew I had no choice. There was nothing else I could do and still remain sane. If I went through with becoming a lawyer, I’d probably end up dropping out of law school to do it- or worse: go through with law school, but fail miserably because I spend most of my time doing what I TRULY want to do, or go through with law school and hate it and become a lawyer and hate it, etc etc, hating myself and my life etc.
So it was a blessing in disguise when I found out I had to wait to wait to go to college, because now I had enough time to practice, to try, to see if this was really worth pursuing- and I found that it was. It completely was.
What sealed the deal for my is when I had my horoscope checked and it said everything in exact words: that I shouldn’t do business unless under certain circumstances, and that I would excel in the fine arts, or being a doctor. And the fine arts and being a doctor were ALWAYS the only two things my heart ever told me/wanted me to do. And since I have a blood-phobia and a hatred for the subjects of chemistry and biology- that leaves fine arts. Which is basically my heart and soul.
So I’m finally living the dream and its awesome. All the problems I once had just disappear. And its like everythings just working out for me.
It couldn’t be any better.