He has a beautiful name, short but sweet, Amo, it means “to love”. He has been my best friend, my saving grace, my partner in crime. We do everything together: sing, dance, make music, play games, play fight, talk for ten hours a day, and we have our moments, these brief moments where we don’t understand each other, but for the most part, its full of love and fun.
He says he wants forever with me and he is sure. He is incredibly handsome but I only thought so when I got to know his heart. There were times, I got frustrated and angry with him when he did certain things. And now, I regret ever complaining when I just imagine him not with me.
He has done so much for me, and continues to every day to help me, or just to make me smile. He would cross the Earth twice to make me happy. He has dedication in his heart that I’m not sure any other human being can quite exhibit. Sometimes he drives two hour trips a day just to see me, for several days at a time.
But now, I hurt. I see in his eyes he watches another woman. He talks about her often. He wonders about her. He tries to help her, too. I wonder often if he fantasizes about being with her. I know he has– he’s a man, but he would never admit it to me. If they are in the same room, his eyes follow her everywhere. He makes more of an effort to talk to her than me when shes around.
But I’m always around, maybe that’s my problem.
And my God, it hurts me. It kills me to think that he has feelings for someone else. I can’t stay here another second if he came to me and said he does. I would leave the country so I never would have to see either of them again.
But why does it hurt so much?